Parodies Everywhere

At Iowahawk, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab describes his recent air travel experience:

When I came to, I was handcuffed, surrounded by cops and bomb sniffing dogs. Amid all the hysterical hippies I felt a strange sensation and heard a soft klink. -Yep, you guessed it. My freeze dried bar-b-cued junk had just fallen off. Before I could locate it, one of the bomb sniffing dog snarfed it up like a frozen snausage.

In other parodies, the Obama administration tries to protect America. Thank goodness for pushy Eurotrash.

Lockjaw

For the record, I hope Sarah Palin never removes her teeth from David Letterman's neck.

What an awful thing to say, one of those things it is only okay to say about conservative women and their families. Once again, "feminists" have proven to be a bunch of frauds who could care less if women are exploited, insulted, and degraded, as long as those women aren't feminists.

If the pervert David Letterman said that about my daughter I would kick his ass. He is an un-funny, tiny-minded troll who has long outlasted his entertainment value.

Give it up David. You suck. You're an embarrassment.

How About That?

Propaganda corrected:

A Pentagon report requested by President Obama on the conditions at the Guantánamo Bay detention center concluded that the prison complies with the humane-treatment requirements of the Geneva Conventions.

So, all that "war criminal" stuff was just meaningless talk? Well, no. More likely will be the marveling that Gitmo magically came into compliance with Obama in office. It's the change we were hoping for.

In other "oops" news, sea ice in the Arctic was mistakenly underestimated by an area roughly the size of California. Never fear though, say the scientists; there's still plenty of reasons to fear.

Change(less)

Moe Lane responds to the news that Obama's nominee for Solicitor General believes the U.S.A. can hold suspected terrorists without trial:

This (Hee-hee-hee-HA!) is, of (HAH-HAHH!) course, not no (HWAAHHAAAH!) …ticiably
different from (MABBRRHH-HAA-HHHAHHH!) Bush’s posi (MBWAHHH-HAAA!!!!)…tion on the (HA-AAA-HAAAA-HAAAAWAHAA-HAAAAAA1!!!!!) subject, (HAHH-SMHGDG-SNORT) which should. make. for. some. in.ter.es.ting. co.mmen.tar.y. from. the. Left…

:silence:
:breaks:

MWHAAA-HAHH-AHHA-HAAAA-HAAAAA!!!!!! HA-HA–HAAAA-HAAA, HAHHH-AAHHAAAA, MWHOOO-AHHH-AHHH-BEWAAHH-HAH-AAAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a special prize for the first evidence anyone presents me of a leftist organization burning Obama in effigy or demanding his arrest on war crimes.

Not Wordy Enough

For those trying to complexify the issue of terrorism, Tim Blair uses far fewer words and says a whole lot more:

A certain simplicity should emerge from study of those killed and those who killed them. In the former group: everyone. In the second: Islamic extremists.

Sometimes things should be quite easy to understand, even for academia.

Murtha: Proudly elected by idiots

That's some opinion John Murtha has of his own constituents:

U.S. Rep. John Murtha says his home base of western Pennsylvania is racist and that could reduce Barack Obama's victory margin in the state by 4 percentage points.

Then again, these people elected Murtha. Maybe he is on to something.

You know...A "Community Organizer"

This is too rich, from NY governor David Paterson:

Paterson sees the repeated use of the words "community organizer" as Republican code for "black".

These people have become a sad, tragic, parody of their own ideology. Too bad the faithful don't seem to have enough sense to be embarrassed.

Hypocrisy Tell-All on Hold!

Now we might never get to see Bernie Ward's book about Republicans and hypocrisy:

Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker sentenced Ward to seven years and three months in federal prison, calling the disgraced celebrity a "troubled individual'' whose downfall is a "personal tragedy.'' ...The 57-year-old Ward pleaded guilty earlier this year to one count of distributing child pornography, the result of an investigation that was triggered by his online chats with an online dominatrix who turned him in to police when she grew concerned about images he had of young children.

Said Steve Grocki of the Justice Department, "He traded in the currency of human suffering." That's real suffering, not the kind experienced when Barack Obama gives a speech.

Rockefeller Lied

Contrary to Senator John D. Rockefeller's statement, "In making the case for war, the administration repeatedly presented intelligence as fact when it was unsubstantiated, contradicted or even nonexistent," people who have looked at the Senate Intelligence Committee's Phase II Report on pre-war intelligence have concluded the opposite.

Fred Hiatt at the Washington Post finds that nearly all of the Bush administration's claims about Iraq were "substantiated by intelligence information." Hiatt even thought he had the wrong report:

As you read through the report, you begin to think maybe you've mistakenly picked up the minority dissent. But, no, this is the Rockefeller indictment.

Hiatt also includes a rather damning statement from Rockefeller himself:

"There has been some debate over how 'imminent' a threat Iraq poses. I do believe Iraq poses an imminent threat. I also believe after September 11, that question is increasingly outdated. . . . To insist on further evidence could put some of our fellow Americans at risk. Can we afford to take that chance? I do not think we can."

Was that a Democratic senator, in the lead up to war, saying the time for providing evidence is over? Why yes, I think it was.

Power Line thinks Rockefeller, with his report, has gone beyond just another example of Democrats playing politics with national security into the realm of fraud, and adds:

It's easy to understand why Chairman Rockefeller and other Senate Dems want to see the history of the prewar debate rewritten in order (a) to perpetuate the phony "Bush lied" mantra and (b) air-brush themselves out of the picture. And it's easy to see why the Committee Democrats were frustrated by their inability to support the anti-Bush mantra except through specious reliance on the kind of statements they themselves made in spades. But frustration isn't a defense to fraud.

Senator Kit Bond, Vice-Chair, adds this special and unique snowflake:

“It is ironic that the Democrats would knowingly distort and misrepresent the Committee’s findings and the intelligence in an effort to prove that the Administration distorted and mischaracterized the intelligence."

Of course, there is no chance the heavy-breathers will ever admit they were wrong. And Rockefeller's refusal to simply admit the obvious is all the proof we need that the Dems have no plan to choose national security and honesty over partisan politics any time soon. But it is interesting to note that the MSM, in reading the report, no longer feels comfortable carrying the Democratic Party's water.

Most of the aspects of the report have been out there for anyone to see for years. It's just too bad the people who are supposed to find the truth were so uninterested in doing so years ago, when it might have made a difference.

A buyer for everything

The SF Chronicle's Mark Morford really, really, really, really, really, really, really, likes Barack Obama:

Barack Obama isn't really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway...

...it's not merely his youthful vigor, or handsomeness, or even inspiring rhetoric. It is not fresh ideas or cool charisma or the fact that a black president will be historic and revolutionary in about a thousand different ways. It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn't have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.

Sheezus. And Morford is barely tuning up. Two graphs later he says Obama will "usher in a new way of being on the planet."

If anyone ever decides to put an official Barack Obama bowel movement on E-Bay, I think we've identified a buyer.

Promise?

I'm one of those conservative voters who is, at best, lukewarm on John McCain. Today though, Susan Sarandon made a difficult decision much, much easier:

She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada.

If we could get that in writing, I might go so far as to actually campaign for McCain.

The Singing Sexfairy

Bernie Ward has the mother of all excuses for why he was sending child porn to "Sexfairy" Linda Figueiredo:

Through his attorney, Ward says the online chat was 100 percent false, that he was role-playing as part of research for a book about hypocrisy and Republicans.

Which goes to show that there is no crime, great or small, that isn't the fault of Republicans.

Looking for some fun? Go back and read the comments at HuffPo when Ward was indicted. Chandidevi saw where this was all coming from clearly:

Bernie Ward is a good man; if he was a Republican, this would never have happened. He is a fierce critic of the Bush administration. Let this be a warning to the rest of us who criticize this administration. Has anyone seen the information on the concentration camps that have been built throughout this country?

That is a level of dipshitery rarely seen.

UPDATE: Regarding Bernie's I-was-only-trying-to-expose-Republicans excuse, LearnedFoot writes:

The problem with having an overinflated sense of your own intelligence is that it causes you to think that everyone else is stupid. Enjoy the anal prison rape, Bernie. You earned it.

Distractions

The noticeably diminished post rate will likely continue while we deal with the passing of Louie's dad. In the meantime, Yours Truly gets a little play at the Chisago County GOP blog. And in response, I will say only, "You're Welcome."

Willful Suspension of Fact

Good news from Iraq:

A new classified intelligence assessment on Iraq says there has been significant progress in security since the last assessment was delivered in August, a senior military official said.

Bad news for Iraq:

Congressional Democrats are warning U.S. Iraq commander General David Petraeus, and the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, not to attempt to minimize the seriousness of the situation in Iraq when they testify to Congress next week.

In other words, reporting "significance progress in security" will not be tolerated. It's an election year, after all.

Forest Lake Cancels Vets

This is an absolute disgrace.

UPDATE: I have to go with Chief at True North on this one. All the fascists at Democratic Underground accomplished was to turn a tiny little gathering in a burb high school into a national story, giving Vets for Freedom a huge platform for its message.

When are these infants going to learn that attempting to censor speech through threats is, in and of itself, always a bigger and more sympathetic story than whatever it was they were trying to stop. Not only did millions get to hear about Vets for Freedom, it properly characterized the anti-war crowd as opposed to free speech.

Were it up to me I would have DUh pull stunts like this every week at Forest Lakes across the nation. It would kill two birds with one stone.

Loaves of Fishy

Between NAFTAgate and the Rezko fiasco, it might be time to entertain the possibility that Barrack Obama is not the second coming of Jesus Christ himself, but simply another Chicago Democrat.

A Symbol For All Time

One begins to wonder if the Barack Obama assassination talk is more fantasy than simple prediction.

Seeing as how the last two attempts were of Republican presidents and only unhinged losers believe Paul Wellstone's plane crash was anything but an unfortunate accident, it begs the question: Is the left in this country looking for a president, or a martyr?

She Chooses Base

Nancy Pelosi's decision to kill the FISA bill rather than simply allow it to pass with a lock majority vote, has left us deaf:

Imad Mugniyeh, one of the world’s most-wanted terrorists, was killed in Syria last week. His terrorist network, Iranian-backed Hizballah, has threatened revenge against the US and Israel, but NSA is left nearly blind to new intelligence targets. Pakistan -- after the Bhutto assassination -- is holding an election this week that al-Queda and the Taliban want to disrupt. And they may, without NSA interference.

Hmm. Killing a vital program over assurances from other Democrats they would vote for the bill. National security? Or pleasing the base? A tough choice, that.

Sure to Help

In addition to announcing a new series of propaganda comics, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon has named George Clooney an official "Messenger of Peace." Claudia Rossett has a better idea:

Maybe Ban should appoint some Messengers of Transparency and Accountability.

I wonder if Charles Bronson is still around.

Press Shunned, Left Celebrates

To steal a phrase from Glenn Reynolds: They said if Bush were re-elected there would be intimidation of the press, and they were right!

Unfortunately, that intimidation came from a Barack Obama staffer, who tried to take away Bill O'Reilly's constitutional right to cover a public campaign event. Here's the video.

When an Obama staffer intentionally stepped in front of O'Reilly's camera, Bill got testy. He did instruct the staffer, Marvin Nicholson, to get out of the shot multiple times before attempting to physically remove him from the shot. At one point in the video, O'Reilly called the staffer "low class" and an S.O.B.

Naturally, for all their whining about freedom of the press, intimidation, access, yada-yada-yada, when a full blown incident occurs where a reporter is prevented from exercising his right to cover a public event, the left celebrates:

"Cuff him," says DuH, where commenters are only bummed the Secret Service didn't physically assault O'Reilly. At DailyKos, 60 percent of readers wish the Secret Service would have "tazed" him. At HuffPo, the headline reads, "Secret Service Restrains Out-Of-Control O'Reilly."

The NY Daily News found no shortage of Obama supporters who were traumatized by the sight of a reporter refusing to be bullied:

"[O'Reilly] was just a crazy person," a photographer who witnessed the altercation told The Daily News. "He throws a complete fit, and then the Secret Service came in."

***
A woman in the crowd, who witnessed who witnessed the incident, exclaimed, "I'm never going to watch that man again. I don't believe this!"

Ya, I'm sure she was a devoted fan before.

I've been in situations where doing your job means waiting on the sidelines for that 10 to 15 second window in which to get your story. I must say I too would have pitched a fit if an employee of a public official intentionally, and illegally, tried to prevent me from doing my job. And I don't think there can be any doubt Nicholson was doing it intentionally, unless he's hearing impaired.

In any case, it certainly isn't a good thing for Obama to have a staffer trying to suppress a guy who is consistently in first place for the most coveted prime time slot in cable news.

Personally, I salute O'Reilly's determination to fulfill his constitutionally protected duties. The left would feel the same way too, if they stopped long enough to see beyond their shallow ideology.