'When I lay my vengeance upon thee..."

Combining two of my favorite things, hockey and Pulp Fiction, I give you Pulp Fiction Hockey....



"Give 'em the gourmet shot." Sweet.

Feels like 30 years ago

The Canadian women won the gold in hockey tonight, damnit.

I love Olympic hockey. I'm a Minnesotan who came of age with the 1980 U.S. men's team, how could I not? As I have been watching the Olympics this winter my eyes have naturally been drawn to one of my favorite photos, which hangs prominently in our family room:


Ya, that's me in the middle with my brother close behind, waiting to have our sticks signed by Herb Brooks the summer after the 1980 Olympics. The photo was taken at the Roseville Ice Arena just after a session in Herbie's summer camp. Attending his camp the summer after the Olympics was akin to hanging out with God just after the seventh day. We even got a pep talk from the man himself, in which we were instructed by the greatest coach ever to watch out for fast women.

And the stick? Still got it, including the signature, which I immediately covered in scotch tape when I got home that day. The curve is long gone and it would no doubt disintegrate if I tried to pass a donut, but the signature is as clear as the day he signed it:


No reason at all for this post beyond taking a stroll down memory lane. I hope you're enjoying the games. I'm looking forward to another chance to steal hockey gold from Canada. We shall see.

Hockey at its Finest

Ovechkin vs. Crosby starts now on NBC.

In the meantime, watch perhaps the greatest goal ever:



My money's on Ovechkin.

The Best So Far

Ya. I don't care who you are, this is sick:



"In comes Ovechkin...gets around Drury...gets around Morris...(illegible) scores....incredible goal, by Alexander Ovechkin"

You'll see in the replay that Morris actually grabs a stick off the bench as he's playing Ovechkin after his own shatters on an attempted chuckwagon from the point. Drury looks silly trying to make the hit, and Ovechkin kicks the puck up to his stick just before going to his knees for the backhand.

What a great highlight.

The Wild Are Sucking

Wild lose 3-2. I can hardly stand it. They worked so hard to get here and they get down 2-1 in the third and just give up.

It's not popular to say, but Marian Gaborik is playing like crap. And, does Eric Belanger have a religious objection to taking a wrist shot? If I have to watch him turn and wind up in tight quarters, only to see the puck poked away, I...I...damnit! Rolston seems determined to shoot everything into Avs' defenders' pads.

They pass when they should shoot, shoot when they should pass.

They're going to lose this series, I think. What a disappointment that will be after the work they put in to get the high seed.

Ha Ha, Rube

I had planned to post on how well the Wild are playing right now at some point today. But, why bother? If you want to know how well the Wild are playing, read the latest from Denver Post cry-baby columnist Mark Kiszla:

The only good thing that can be said about Minnesota's 3-2 overtime victory against Colorado was the game lasted so deep into the night that it ended past the bedtime of most kids who could be frightened by the way the Wild mauls all the beauty from the sport.

He must have missed the third period and overtime, when the Wild skill players totally dominated the Avs.

In Kiszla's tiny mind, the Wild are supposed to leave poor, banged-up Peter Forsberg alone because...well...he's banged up. (Note to Wild: Forsberg's hurt! Go get him!) I hope the Denver Post verified Kiszla was actually talking about hockey here. The way he describes it, it sounds more like badminton.

If hockey were about beauty and grace, it would be the ballet and we'd all bring tiny, decorative binoculars to the game and golf clap. This game is about scoring goals, something the Wild have done better than the Avs so far.

Maybe someday Kiszla will get his way and we'll all celebrate the team that looks the best while losing. Until then, excellence will have to be determined the old-fashioned way...the final score.

Clinch!

(Photo: Jeff Wheeler - Star Tribune)

The answer to this question? They did. And giving the jerseys away at the end of the game was a classy move.

Home ice here we come.

Home Ice...Maybe

It just occurred to me that, if Calgary - currently leading Edmonton 2-1 - and Colorado - currently losing 1-0 to Vancouver, both lose, the Wild clinch the Northwest Division and the third seed in the Western Conference playoff.

Edmonton and Vancouver, by the way, are both desperate for wins to stay in the playoff hunt, so it is likely that at least one will pull out the dubya.

On the other hand, if both Calgary and Colorado were to win, they would still trail the Wild in points; the Avs by two and the Flames by three.

The Wild's last two games? The Flames (here) and the Avs (away).

Worst case scenario: the Wild could clinch with a home win over the Flames on Thursday.

But will they?

UPDATE: It suddenly occurred to me that there could be a tie atop the division at season's end. What then? I thought I'd better find out:

The NHL standings are determined by total points, with the teams ranked in two conferences. If two or more teams are tied in total points, the tie is broken using the following criteria, in order:

Most wins.

Most points in games against each other among the tied teams.

The greater positive differential between goals scored for and against among the tied teams.

Never mind.

One Hill Too Many

Damn. Hats off to goalie Alex Kangas, who made the Gophers run possible with outstanding goaltending.

Happy Easter to all.

Deja Vu

Mike Hoeffel, you too are a beautiful, beautiful, man.

Hoeffel was the Gophers offense tonight, scoring both goals including a double bank shot from the goal line to beat CC in OT:

Hoeffel, deep on the left side, centered the puck. It appeared to hit a defenseman's skate and then ricochetted off the back of CC goalie Richard Bachman.

And, yes, the Gophers live to fight another day; this time against DU for the WCHA championship.

It's the craziest damn season I can remember.

...Another Day

Mike Howe, you beautiful, beautiful man!

Ya, ya, I know; the Gophers will probably get beat tomorrow by the #1 seed Colorado College Tigers, but they live to fight another day with Howe's game winner at 13 seconds of the third period.

The Gophers scored three goals. In one game! Let me enjoy it.

Scary moments

Excitement over last night's two overtime 3-2 Gopher victory over the Mavericks was tempered by the horrible cheap shot on Tom Pohl in the second period. MSU's Jason Wiley elbowed Pohl in the head from behind, causing Pohl's helmet to come off. The result, we are learning today, was more severe than previously thought:

Gophers senior forward Tom Pohl is in intensive care after brain surgery at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester today.

Pohl was elbowed to the ice and injured during Minnesota's 3-2 double-overtime victory over Minnesota State Sunday in Mankato.

Pohl sustained a skull fracture when his head hit the boards in front of the team's bench at 6:09 of the second period. The injury resulted in bleeding on the brain and Pohl was airlifted to St. Mary's Hospital.

Successful surgery was performed to stop the bleeding and stabilize the fracture. Pohl remains at the hospital for further observation.

Spare a thought or prayer for Pohl today if you get a chance. It sounds like he could use it.

UPDATE: Here's video, and I swear, as long as I live, seeing this image will give me a bad case of the willies.

There is also quite the lively comment section at the Strib that begs some clarification. Was the Wiley hit a cheap shot? Most definitely. He came from behind Pohl, blind-sided him with an elbow in his ear, and powered through. But that doesn't mean Wiley intended to injure Pohl. The injury was sustained because Pohl's helmet fell off when he received the elbow and there was no protection between his face and the boards. It certainly happened too fast for Wiley to pull up.

Cheap shots happen all the time in hockey. It 's the nature of the game. Just about any player would have seen Pohl as a juicy target and taken advantage. Certainly Wiley was hoping to sting him and make him think twice along the boards. If I had to bet, I'd say Wiley feels pretty lousy today about how this turned out.

Going Forward

GD⁴ recently pointed out that the NHL has it's own network (and was promptly sent to his room by his mother).

Who knew?

In the last 24 hours I have watched old North Star games, a documentary on Denis Savard, and numerous shows on the hardest hitters, by season. Even the commercials are about hockey.

It's like discovering the bottomless keg.

Needless to say, blogging will be light...forever.

A True Champion

Congratulations to the Hill-Murray Pioneers on an exceptionally well played tournament. Special congratulations to assistant coach Pat Schafhauser, whose journey from 15-year-old Roseville hockey player to state champion turned out to be much longer and more arduous than anyone could have ever imagined.

Few have been more deserving of the title "champion."

UPDATE: My column this week pretty much ends the same way as this post, but the journey is fun. Enjoy!

It's Like I Said

Like I said yesterday, I think Roseau is overrated and not quite strong enough to topple mighty Hill-Murray.

Read more about stud goaltender Joe Phillippi here, and get his stats here.

With Goliath gone, tomorrow night's championship, Hill and Edina, looks like a pretty good match-up.

The Roseau Mountain

I'm just getting ready to watch Hill-Murray play Lakeville South. I'm hoping for a closer game than Roseau's 8-2 trouncing of Blaine.

About Roseau though, I don't recall a more dominating team. They are undefeated coming in and goalie Mark Lee has an astounding .952 save percentage.

I didn't see the early games, but I would be very surprised if a team emerged from it good enough to handle Roseau.

I think they are going to win a second championship in a row.

He's So Grounded

Posting will be light for the next couple of days: It's hockey time baby!

Related, I think I'm losing it. I am no longer able to beat GD⁴ consistently at video hockey. At the end of most games, hands aching, I am still a couple of goals behind. He's nine years old.

Now That's a Great Career

It's Super Bowl weekend, and with an undefeated Patriots team poised to make history, the inevitable "greatest ever" discussions are rampant, focused primarily on Tom Brady and the team as a whole. While I don't care to weigh in on those debates, it seems like a timely moment to remember the greatest career ever, in any sport.

Read this abridged list of accomplishments and dare to disagree:

- 2,857 career regular season points (the next closest is 30 short of a thousand less)
- Quickest to 50 goals (39 games)
- 61 goals in fifty games, not once, not twice, but three times
- Over a glorious 51-game streak, he averaged three points per game (153 points)
- 894 goals in 1,487 games
- 92 goals in a single season, more than one per game in an 80-game schedule
-47 points in a single playoff
- 1,963 regular season assists (1,487 games), more than one a game over an entire career
- Youngest player to score 50 goals (19 years, 2 months)
- 50 hat tricks
- 9 MVP awards
- 19 seasons as his teams leading scorer (all but one of a 20-year career)
- Four consecutive 70-goal seasons
- 10 assists in a four-game playoff series
- 137 points in his first year
- He reached 1,000 points in 424 games
- Quickest to reach, 50, 200, 400, 500, 600, 700, and 800 goal benchmarks
- On retirement, he held 61 NHL records (he still holds 60)

Wayne Gretzky. The Great One.

Welcome to Hockeytown!

After concluding that Detroit, with poor attendance at Red Wings games, no longer deserves the moniker "Hockeytown U.S.A.," Sports Illustrated's Michael Farber analyzed three cities, Buffalo, Philadelphia, and St. Paul, to find a city deserving of the title. The decision to go with St. Paul should hardly be a surprise, but Farber notes that St. Paul is Hockeytown for much more than simply its devotion to the Wild:

The Wild has sold every ticket to every game since it entered the NHL as an expansion team in 2000, but it has never tried to bigfoot hockey in a city that was home to America's iconic coach, Herb Brooks; the No. 2 U.S.-born career NHL scorer, South St. Paul's Phil Housley; the only cartoonist to draw a Zamboni-driving bird, Charles Schulz; and the leading state high school tournament in the nation.

This is the unwritten hockey schedule in the Twin Cities: boys' hockey Tuesday night, girls' hockey Thursday night, the University of Minnesota Friday and Saturday nights. Boys and girls also play on Saturday afternoon. It is no coincidence that the Wild often plays on Wednesday and Sunday. This is a franchise respectful of the game, aware of its niche and almost obsequious in its treatment of fans.

Ya, as much as I love the Wild, nothing pisses me off more than when the Gophers get bumped on a Friday.

Kudos to Farber for recognizing what is apparently obvious to just about everybody, except the Twin Cities own Sid Hartman, who insists the Twin Cities is now basketball country.

Hey Sid, how's attendance at those Wolves games?

That's what I thought. Basketball town my arse.

Only in Canada

A blog-worthy brawl in the wasteland to the north:

Three players each from the Duffield Devils and Niagara Falls Thunder novice triple-A teams, and their respective coaches, were ejected from the Guelph Power Play Tournament on Friday after a brawl during a game.

Certainly not a rare occurrence in the nation where hockey fighting was invented, you say?

"These are eight-year-olds," said Staff Sgt. Neal Young of Guelph Police.

Parents will no doubt look back fondly at the day little Johnny learned to pull the jersey over the head.