Thursday, May 05, 2005

LIBERAL LARRY RETURNS FROM THE C.U.N.Y. conference, "Examining the Real Agenda of the Religious Far Right" with a full report. Here's some of the saturday highlights:

8:00 AM Caught cab to convention hall just in time for opening benediction to Earth Goddess, by Rev. Moonchild Spiritwolf, Wannabi Shaman.
8:25 Boy Scout color guard presents U.S. Flag.
8:27 Boy Scout color guard gets drenched with spittle.
9:00 Sneered at and belittled prominent Christians in American history.
10:00 Sneered at and belittled prominent Christians in the U.S. Government.
11:15 Sneered at and belittled prominent Christians in the Christian Religion.

12:00 Break for chakra balancing and complimentary ginseng colonics in the Holistic Wellness Center.

3:00 Robert Burtney spoke at length on how Transcendent Spirituality Will Get You Laid.

4:00 Gave my speech on Christian Homeless Shelters, The Secret Right-Wing Agenda to Lure the Mentally-Ill Away from the Democrat Party to standing ovation.

5:00 Closing incantation, led by A Small Rhododendron Outside Convention Hall.
5:20 burned Bush in effigy. The peeResident, not the Rhododendron.
5:30 retired to motel room, stabbed self in thigh with fork as penance for over 600 years of white Christian male hegemony.
6:00 Cried self to sleep.

Sunday was just as hilarious.

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