When is a man not a man? When a device in public restrooms forces him to sit when he urinates:
The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as "Stehpinkeln").
"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.
As a father of three daughters, I am sympathetic to what females sometimes have to do to take a leak (although my wife says men's bathrooms got nothing on women's when it comes to overall filth level). Still, the day the government starts barking at me when I lift the seat is the day I stop lifting the seat. It's quite possible I would cease aiming altogether.
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