Elizabeth Edwards will solve the global warming crisis by swearing off tangerines:
"We've been moving back to 'buy local,'" Mrs. Edwards said, outlining a trade policy that "acknowledges the carbon footprint" of transporting fruit."I live in North Carolina. I'll probably never eat a tangerine again..."
Edwards did say she would eat the fruit again if the price were increased, which would have the added effect of removing it from the diets of the "other America," who will soon become visibly identifiable by their advanced cases of scurvy.