Unfortunately for expectant readers, I will not be able to live blog GoreAid as events unfold tomorrow. GD4 has soccer games in the extreme weather all day. As crushed as you are, imagine my distress.
Speaking of distress, Iowahawk has an important public service message from the English government to its people:
"We ask the public to report any behaviors by various people that may or may not be of a suspicious nature," said Lt. Clive Jameson of the Metropolitan Police Service. "We further ask the public to be especially vigilant for activities of broad stratas of people who may be from countries of some sort, especially those within the eastern and/or western hemisphere."
The elevated alert levels come on the heels of a week when London and Glasgow narrowly escaped potential events that intelligence experts say may have been related to diverse groups of people doing things.
Do your part for England and keep those eyes peeled for people from countries located in a hemisphere doing things, except for very skinny guitar-slingers wearing Greenpeace t-shirts. Aside from the copious amounts of CO2 they give off, these folks are relatively harmless as long as they are kept from your stash.