Friday, May 25, 2007

Sheesh. Florida Hockey Fans

All due respect to this hockey rube (I mean seriously, how much can you possibly know much about hockey when you live in Florida), anyone who would root for a southern California team over one from God's country is likely the kind of person that sleeps until noon and has "Lowrider" as his ring tone.

Justice demands an Ottawa victory, and the Elder (a hockey picking savant) concurs:

It's bad enough that the Lightning and Hurricanes have recently had their names engraved on the hallowed trophy. If the team with the gayest (in the playground sense of the word) name in all of sport--Mighty (cringe) Ducks--wins the Cup, Lord Stanley will be spinning in his grave.

While Hockey Rube may have been right about the surreptitious back door removal of the "Mighty" from "Mighty Ducks" that only proves how gay (think playground) the team really is. After all, in order to remove the "Mighty," they first had to add the "Mighty." Scarier still, Hockey Rube seems aware of this chain of events, which means he pays far too much attention to a hockey team...from southern California.

Supporting the Ducks means supporting the use of, and then sneaky removal of, the descriptive "Mighty." Maybe he thinks we should put Emilio Estevez' name on the cup too. Or, adopt the "flying v" as a legitimate break in.

In my opinion, Hockey Rube is rooting for (and maybe even playing for) the wrong team.

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