Wednesday, February 15, 2006

D.C. Media Hunting for Relevance

Events have been happening so fast in the Cheney affair that it is hard to catch one's breath. It has really been a stunning display of ego from the White House press corps.

What are they reporting anyway? There has certainly been no credible allegation that Cheney failed to notify the proper authorities. The Kennedy County Sheriff has affirmed that the law was followed, and I have yet to see any evidence that not calling David Gregory is against the law.

Basically, the WHPC is asserting that it is the authority in this case. In fact, that they are a higher authority than the...well...authorities. That not alerting them is Cheney's legal failure. Scandal! Secrecy! Eek!

I'm sure while Cheney was mulling over how he could make this up to his buddy, he never thought that having the WHPC descend on the hospital was the way to go. And I'm sure Harry Whittington's family feels real screwed out of their 15 minutes of fame.

Imagine. All of the press corps were diligently sitting by their fax machines just waiting for the administration to alert them to the news. Sitting. By their fax machines. Because they know instinctively that, no matter what else might be happening, the most important thing is that the fax machine spit out a fax telling them what to do next.

What a sorry bunch they are. America should be embarrassed by its media representation, which has finally decided once and for all that their job is a whole lot easier if they just make themselves the story all the time.

Unfortunately, this extremely obvious conclusion is lost on the Democratic Party, which once again proves there is no agenda like the New York Times agenda.

Harry Reid:

"I think the reason it took the vice president a day to talk about this is part of the secretive nature of this administration," the top Senate Democrat said. "They keep things pretty close to the chest."

It's an outrage! Harry Reid himself, in a feat of extraordinary deftness, was able to get word of his stroke to the media in only three days!

Hillary Clinton:

"A tendency of this administration -- from the top all the way to the bottom -- is to withhold information ... to refuse to be forthcoming about information that is of significance and relevance to the jobs that all of you do, and the interests of the American people," Clinton said.

Forget the shower of kumbayah sympathy for the poor WHPC for a moment. Does this mean we'll be getting the 100 withheld pages of the Cisneros report sometime soon?

Seriously. If the D.C. press jump off a bridge, does the Democratic Party have to follow? I guess any distraction from creating a platform is a welcome one right now.

Having grown up around hunting and bagged my share of upland birds, the description of events is that of a fairly run of the mill hunting accident. It is not at all uncommon to have to swing across your body in pursuit of a pheasant or quail. Most hunters try to be aware of others' presence because it does occasionally happen. Just ask this guy.

A Colorado man who laughed Monday when he first read Vice President Dick Cheney had shot a hunting companion was himself injured just hours later when he was accidentally blasted by his girlfriend in his own hunting mishap.


I personally know two people who have absorbed shot in very similar circumstances to Whittington's, as well as a few dogs.

Luckily, small game hunting is done with small firearms and light loads, and Cheney's gear was no exception. He was carrying a 28-gauge shotgun, which is a common gauge for teaching children gun safety as well as hunting upland game. Also, a very light load is used as to not render the bird unusable. Cheney was shooting loads in the 6 to 8 range, which are barely more than trap loads.

If Whittington had been hit elsewhere at the range that is being reported, he would have likely spewed a string of obscenities, spent the next half-hour picking shot out of his leg, and made Cheney clean his birds. Later, over a beer and some freshly cooked quail, Cheney would get the needle. Badly.

And, while that would have been a nice private scenario, Whittington was hit in the chest and the face and Cheney is vice president. And the very public scenario of a media bitterly asserting its fading relevance is probably more entertaining anyway.

On a final note and on behalf of all "local" newspapers everywhere, I would like to express my gratitude for Cheney's realization that media does exist outside the beltway. There are thousands of newspapers capable of reporting on a simple hunting accident, even if you have to get out of D.C. to find one.

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