Chimpy McHilterburton is at it again, attempting to fool the American sheeple that he gives one wit about gas prices and conservation. His latest subterfuge? A weak attempt to convince the country to conserve gas, even as Vice President Evil is right now building his underground oil pipeline from New Orleans to the Secret Halliburton Volcano Lair, while the war-mongering occupiers of Louisiana fill mass graves with the bodies of innocent brown-skinned Democrat refugees.
Liberal Larry is having none of it, and has come up with a brilliant strategy for undermining Bush's conservation propoganda.
This weekend, some friends and I intend to throw a progressive monkey wrench into the Chimp's plans by consuming as much fuel as humanly possible. Operation: Drive Bush Out of Office! will consist of 40 to 100 Volkswagen vans driving in endless circles around the Seattle GOP headquarters, stopping only to refill our tanks and stock up on Twinkies and Fritos. If lower gas prices are to Bush's advantage, then it's our patriotic duty to give him the exact opposite. Only by depleting the national petroleum reserves and forcing gasoline prices UP can we finally "Drive Bush Out of Office" and bring an end to his illegal and immoral War for Oil.
Why stop there Larry? After all, Chimpy is just a symptom of the overall problem. The world will never be safe for aging hippies, innocent children, minorities, and women, as long as Republicans exist in any form. I propose we extend this protest until global warming results in a massive flooding of the Mississippi River, thereby drowning the vast majority of red states in the middle of this country and returning leadership of this oppressive nation to the enlightened on the coasts.
It may be distasteful, but accelerating the effects of global warming may now be our only hope to save the country from the Jesus-loving-racist-war mongerers that are even as we speak preparing marching orders for Diebold in 2008.
If we don't destroy the planet, we may never get true regime change.
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