Despite having many personal issues that might make a proximity to children dangerous, Liberal Larry is saddled with his neo-fascist niece for the duration of the week. His brother must have been extremely desperate. To Larry's surprise, his chimpy/McHaliburton niece was not at all interested in two days of transcendental meditation at the local rock garden, and suggested instead that he take her to the drag races.
As much as I abhor the unegalitarian barbarism of competitive sports, a day spent absorbing the rich culture of the cross-dressing community would be good for the little fascist. So I happily agreed to treat little Kinsey to a day at the races, and even promised to leave the Nappy Time® Child Safety Tazer at home.
Imagine my surprise when, upon arriving at the event, I suddenly realized that they were not racing gender dysphoric homosexuals gussied up like giant sequined ostriches, but frigging CARS! VERY LOUD cars, as a matter of fact. Before I knew what was happening, I had already ruined a perfectly good pair of prototype ultra-absorbent hemp underwear thanks to Bush and his thinly veiled campaign fundraiser. Indeed, the entire spectacle was little more than an elaborate Bush scheme to glorify the automobile while siphoning money from the very same slack-jawed sheeple who helped him steal the office!
Karl Rove is indeed a genius.
Read the whole thing, it's hilarious.
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