In our feeble attempts to bring you humor on the weekends, we break away from Liberal Larry this week to feature the recently returned Iowahawk, who unearthed four letters from the desk of Illinois Senator Dick Durbin. Suffice to say the letters establish a pattern of behavior from Durbin, who knows attrocities when he sees them.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Epstein:
In her diaries, Anne Frank wrote, "After all that has happened, I still believe there is good in everyone." I am sad to say that after the obscene neighborhood parking situation Saturday, prompted by your son Jacob's Bar Mitzvah at Congregation Beth Shalom, I cannot reach the same optimistic conclusion.
As I witnessed one after another of your uniformed parking attendant shock troops invading my cul de sac with menacing SUVs, eventual blocking my driveway, I could not help but imagine the raw panic that must have gripped the doomed souls that inhabited the ghettos of Warsaw in 1939. Although the traffic jam eventually passed over when your took your adolescent blitzkreig on to Lazer FunZone, I am not sure I will ever fully recover from the trauma.
Never again, Mr. and Mrs. Epstein. Never again.
Senator Richard J. DurbinWashington, DC
Dick Durbin, protecting the world from the horrors of the Bar Mitsvah.